Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or DBT, was developed by Marsha Linehan in the 1980s. While it was originally designed for chronic suicidality and borderline personality disorder, it is now commonly used to support those struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma, eating disorders, and general emotion dysregulation. DBT blends Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with mindfulness and acceptance-based strategies to help improve behavioral patterns by emphasizing the synthesis of change and acceptance.

The Dialectical Mindset

The core of DBT lies in understanding what “dialectical” means: the idea that two opposite things can be true at the same time. When considered together, they create a new truth and a new way of viewing a situation. This philosophical foundation encourages individuals to move away from rigid, “black and white” thinking, allowing for a more balanced perspective on life’s challenges.

A practical way to practice this is to replace “BUT” with “AND” in your daily language. Using “BUT” tends to cancel out the statement that came before it, often leading to invalidation or conflict. In contrast, “AND” allows you to hold two truths at once, reducing internal and external friction while creating room for nuance and flexibility. For example, one can acknowledge that they are doing their best AND that they still need to do better.

Mindfulness: The WHAT and HOW

DBT utilizes specific mnemonics to help skills stick, even when your brain is feeling stressed or overwhelmed. These mindfulness skills are divided into the “WHAT” and “HOW” categories to provide a comprehensive roadmap for staying present.

The “WHAT” skills help you navigate your experiences through observation, description, and participation. Observing involves noticing what is happening inside and outside of you without reacting, acting as a neutral witness to your own thoughts and environment. Describing then requires you to label your experience in simple, factual terms; by naming an emotion or sensation, you begin to tame its intensity. Finally, participating means fully throwing yourself into the present activity without self-consciousness or judgment, becoming one with whatever you are doing.

The “HOW” skills focus on the approach you take to these experiences. Practicing non-judgmentally means noticing experiences without labeling them as “good” or “bad,” focusing instead on the facts. Acting one-mindfully requires focusing on one thing at a time, as multitasking often leads to divided attention and increased stress. Finally, acting effectively means doing what works in the moment to move toward your goals, rather than getting caught up in being “right” or “fair.”

Interpersonal Effectiveness: DEAR MAN

DBT also provides essential tools for communicating needs and maintaining relationships effectively, such as the DEAR MAN acronym. This strategy begins with describing the situation factually and expressing your feelings clearly. You then assert your needs and reinforce the positive impact that a solution would have on the relationship. Throughout the process, it is important to stay mindful of your goals, appear confident in your delivery, and be willing to negotiate a solution that works for everyone involved.

Ultimately, the goal of these DBT functions is to enhance your repertoire of skillful behaviors, improve motivation to change, and ensure that these new, effective patterns generalize from the therapy room into your natural, daily environment.

Therapist Commack NY

Institute of Psychological Resilience

Tel: 631-499-7500

283 Commack Road,

Commack, NY 11725

Get Directions